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Dr Kevin Ross Emery
“I just finished reading this book and I have decided that I am ADD.”
“I saw a TV show about ADHD. I have it and so does my son.”
“My daughter’s teacher says she asks too many questions. Do you think she’s hyperactive?”
Over the past ten years, we’ve all heard announcements like these from friends, family and even strangers.
As a spiritual coach and counselor, I deal with questions about ADD and ADHD every day. My insights may be helpful to you, too.
ADD AND ADHD IN ADULTS
Recently, a client started our counseling session by declaring that he’s ADD. His wife was quick to agree. That’s what brought them to my doorstep. They needed help with their marriage.
Often, the first step to repair a marriage begins with personal spiritual growth. Until the individual understands him- or herself, it’s difficult to build trust and understanding in any relationship.
In this case, I did an energetic scan of my client. Some medical intuitives, including me, use this process to identify areas that need work. We “see” physical, emotional and energetic distress.
Next, I described to my client what I saw in the scan. I explained it in the context of ADD. Like many people who are confused by ADD and ADHD, he was relieved to find someone who understood what was going on.
After that, I recommended that they read more about the subject. Between their studies and a few counseling session, the client and his wife were able to understand each other better. According to them, it began a renaissance within their marriage.
For many adults, that’s all it takes. With a little education and some counseling, they learn how to live with ADD and ADHD.
ADD AND ADHD IN CHILDREN
Most people are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD as children. Through them, we can more about the many faces of Attention Deficit Disorder, with or without obvious hyperactivity.
Years ago, one of my most important breakthroughs was with a 12-year-old client. His first statement to me was startling.
With a look of anguish, he blurted, “It hurts to be a human when I think of and see all that we have done to this planet. But, I know I am here to make it better.”
Scanning his energy, I could sense the pain that he was in. To me, it was as if he had been born without skin. He could feel everything around him. He had no personal boundaries.
That session helped him, but it helped me even more. I learned, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that ADD and ADHD aren’t disabilities. They’re gifts.
Those gifts need to be managed and nurtured, but they’re still gifts. They may even point the way that our species is evolving.
If we medicate those gifts to minimize them, we risk losing those gifts altogether.
ADD, ADHD, UNDERSTANDING AND “THE BOX”
During the following months, my practice attracted many clients with Attention Deficit Disorder and forms of hyperactivity. I was one of the few who understood them as gifts, not diseases.
My staff and I used to joke that I’d become an “ADD magnet.” But, those months were a tremendous educational experience.
Some of my clients already knew about ADD and ADHD. They’d already been diagnosed. They knew the terminology and the popular medical solutions. Some even chose the ADD label because, finally, it defined who they were.
Those clients can be the most difficult to work with. The ADD “box” acts as a protection and a defense. To help them, we must convince them to step outside that box.
For someone who has lived without boundaries, that’s a very scary step. The box is the safe place to be. Convincing them to step outside can be challenging.
HOW TO HELP
The following basics can help anyone who is dealing with ADD and ADHD in children and adults.
* ADD and ADHD are gifts.
* The ADD and ADHD labels are over-used. They may mask other conditions that need to be examined.
* In addition, ADD and ADHD can be masked by other, more obvious conditions. Medication can make it even more difficult to identify attention, activity and boundary issues.
* Attention Deficit Disorder, with or without hyperactivity, affect four levels: Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Each level must be addressed separately.
* In most cases, ADD and ADHD need to be managed, not drugged.
* In almost all cases, these people also have heightened perceptions of — and sensitivities to — spirituality. That spirituality can provide a bridge to help them, as well as support during episodes of extreme activity and/or vulnerability.
Because these and other conditions can be “layered,” diagnosis and treatment can be difficult with some clients. However, this also makes the work constantly engaging, challenging and intriguing.
THE FIRST STEP
In most cases, the first major issue is the client’s feeling of isolation. To resolve that, clients may have developed inappropriate behaviors. For example, they may be accustomed to creating emergencies and drama to attract attention and support.
Until the sense of isolation is addressed, those behaviors can slow treatment. Once the client feels a stronger connection to those close to him or her, the process becomes much easier. In addition, a client’s lifestyle needs to be reviewed. This includes diet and attitudes. Protocols must be created and understood by everyone who is connected to the client.
ADD AND ADHD AREN’T DISABILITIES
Attention Deficit Disorder is not a disability, it is a “diffability.” The person’s abilities are not “less than” or impaired, just different.
Each person is brilliant in some way. Often, this brilliance simply needs to be discovered, acknowledged and unlocked.
ADD and ADHD are gifts. They may represent an expansion of our awareness beyond the 10% that the brain traditionally utilizes. Let’s not try to medicate and subdue this exciting evolutionary step.
Recently, a client said to me, “I am not dumb you know, even if they all say I am.”
That’s a common misunderstanding when dealing with people — especially children — who have the gift of ADD.
They’re not “dumb” or stupid. In fact, they’re so smart in such different ways, we don’t always realize that what they have is an asset.
THE FUTURE OF ADD AND ADHD
Working together, we can become smart enough to understand those with ADD and ADHD.
For now, let’s help these gifted people deal with isolation, fear, anxiety, depression and more.
We can help each other. In this process, we may find ways to utilize even more intelligence, to help the evolutionary process. Our world could benefit greatly.
You can help people who have ADD and ADHD.
Start by letting them know that they’re not alone.
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For more information about ADD, ADHD and how to help people with them, read Dr. Kevin’s book, Managing the Gift: Alternative Approaches for Attention Deficit Disorder
You may also enjoy Dr. Kevin’s CD, Managing the Gift Alternative Approaches for Attention Deficit Disorder: Daily Practices.
Both are available through Amazon.com or your local bookstore.
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