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The Beatles, John Lennon, Frank Sinatra and all the crooners, all music genres- charts, pop, blues, folk, jazz and beyond, all sing of love so poignantly. Byron, Blake, Wordsworth, Shakespeare write about all kinds of love with such articulation. Books, films, plays, musicals, TV programs all feature love in their plots somewhere or another. We can relate to them all! Spiritual leaders and metaphysical gurus say ‘Love is all there is’. Divination cards and systems represent love as a major aspect of life, both human and divine. Many individuals seek spiritual guidance on love, and matters of the heart every minute of every day. Yet what is love? It is many things to different people. Highly subjective, it is indeed a wonder that two individuals can find love, let alone share the same meaning, feeling and quality and quantity together, and at the same timein one life. Yet somehow we all do, and for better or worse!
‘ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE. LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED,’ states dear John so simply. Oh, so you don’t have to go on courses and workshops after all?!
Some people live for love, some people die for love, some have so much, while some have so little. How do we find love? How do we give love?
There are different kinds of love as we all know – the love between mother and child, fathers and children, grandparents to grandkids, brothers and sisters, family near far and extended. And at the end of the day, are we not all distant cousins?
And just where is love when there are family bust-ups and fall out? What is the attraction between two people who ‘fall in love’ with each other? Do opposites attract, or do we have to be similar? What happens when we ‘fall out of love’- where does love go, where did we go? Why doesn’t it last forever? Can it? Does it? Do we have any control over love at all? With who, how, and when we find love, or when love finds us? Mind boggling and stupefying! How many of us have experienced being in love with two (or more!) people at the same time- why and how does that happen? A cosmic tease, maybe, but so often people get hurt in these situations- where the socially expected or legal norm is 1:1. Yet in many cultures of our world, it is perfectly acceptable to be married to more than one person at one time- maybe 6,8,10 others. So just who has got it right, and how have they achieved it? And if not, is it the thing called ‘love’ that changes, or one or other, or both individuals concerned that change?
We’ve all had different experiences of love, some good, some bad, and some which made us decide there and then we’d never let love into our lives again- no matter what! ‘Love hurts, love heals’ go the lyrics- but is not one person’s idea of pain, another one’s pleasure? And one person’s medicine, another one’s poison? One thing’s for certain – there’s nothing as confusing as love, and guess what – we’re all in this together. So fasten your seatbelt for the ride…
Right, a little exercise to get you started. Are you sitting comfortably?
Then I’ll begin…… I want you to recall a time you ‘fell in love’ with someone. (Or if you’ve never been in love, then recall the happiest time of your life, a time when you felt GREAT.)….. Take a few moments to really link into that memory…. How did it feel?... how does it feel now…..make the memory stronger, and more importantly …make the feeling associated with it stronger.. and very present… very very pleasant…..get a sense of the excitement, feel excited…so excited you’ve got butterflies in your stomach….remember how you couldn’t eat at this time…couldn’t sleep…so excited…yet you’re not tired….you’re invigorated…your world feels bigger….your world is bigger…..you’re bigger…stronger….more alive….more connected somehow…your senses are heightened, you feel a tingling, an aliveness.. you absolutely LOVE your life…you feel on top of the world because you are on top of the world, yet firmly rooted to the earth, very present, very tall, standing proud, marveling at who you are and what you can achieve…heads turn as you walk by – ‘what has he/she got ?’ they think to themselves as they look at you admiringly…..your entire environment reflects back to you this good feeling…you love everything deeply, profoundly…and everything loves you equally deeply and profoundly and more….your heart is wide open….brimming over with love.. for you and for every part of life you know…your body and brain are flooded with ‘feel good factor’ endorphins ( chemical messengers of bliss) and hormones that create joy, golden opportunities and choice in your life…….savour it!...enjoy it as long as you can…and then do it again another time.. and again…and again…..until you start to see love flowing to you and from you at will, and this is manifest as positive changes and growth in existing relationships and/or new liaisons and potential opportunities for loving relationships finding their way into your life, along with better circumstances and an upturn in many other areas of your life. I can’t resist, at this juncture, including the wise words -‘When heart is open, you will change’- sung by Van Morrison.
Okay, now , where are you at right now? Some of you may already be deeply, richly, madly in love- go for it! ‘Congratulations and Celebrations’ - how did Cliff get in here! Others of you may be in a long term relationship that’s leveled out, yet still has that element of fire and passion. Others may wonder what has happened to their ‘fire and passion’- even reaching the point that they’d forgotten it used to exist -‘oh that,’ I hear you say… like a wet firework. If you are in a relationship that has lost it’s sparkle- well okay, it’s gone out – and yet you both want it to work and improve, start by communicating this to one another, make a plan. Know that you can find again the very joy of your attraction to each other- remember together the great times you had, invoke those associated feelings- do things, think things, act things the way you used to, anchor those good feelings in the present, and create the kind of lives you want, the kind of love you want. Re-ignite your unique sparkle, enjoy yourselves again, re-invent your lives for now, make those heads turn again.
If there have been problems or difficulties, they either become insignificant, or you see very clearly what is needed to resolve those issues, along with, as if by magic, supporting influences. Watch as your lives turn for the better, everything to gain.
What if you’re the other end of the spectrum- you’ve never been in love, or it was so long ago- you can’t remember, or don’t want to remember. You’ve been on your own for so long, are used to your own company, quite self-sufficient, doing things in your own way, in your own time, etc, thank you very much! Then quite unexpectedly (or not) you wake up one morning, and decide, albeit apparently a bit zany, to seriously consider the prospect of looking to enter into a relationship again.
Wham! You find yourself entertaining thoughts and emotions you may not have experienced for a while, and maybe just a few gremlins. Yes there’s anticipation and excitement, yet there may be a few ‘I’m quite a bit older now, am I still attractive?’, ‘Where do I go to meet someone’, ‘It’s easier for men’, ‘I haven’t kissed for years’, etc, etc. ‘Perhaps I won’t bother’. Fears rise up, doubts start to creep in that can undermine your adventure…STOP..REWIND………….……….You decide to seriously consider the prospect of looking to enter into a relationship again. Good for you. Well done! Fact- Immediately you have sent out a signal indicating your intent…I’m here, I’m ready now.( Chances are you’re equally responding to a signal somebody else has been putting out - equal and opposite reactions, and all that jazz!!) Your signal will get a response - and in ways you may not even be able to imagine, or indeed comprehend! - so, in other words, don’t sweat it. Your part is to enjoy the anticipation, pour on the excitement, and while you’re waiting for the action, sort your wardrobe- what do you look and feel really good in- sort it. Prepare- do you need to organise a babysitter- if so, start looking around for someone you feel happy with. How do you feel about your appearance- make any changes you see fit TO FEEL REALLY GREAT. You’re in charge here, in thought, feeling, and action, so stay upbeat on all three! If you do find any little gremlins start to sneak in- little (or seemingly bigger), remind yourself what you are doing, and remember to decide you’re about to have the time of your life! You are open to new experiences, yet at the same time respect that you will only do that which makes you feel great about you. And by the way - blow those gremlins a kiss - they’ll blush!
By being true to yourself, and honouring yourself, you can attract great love and affection into your life. Oh, and don’t forget to pick up some travel brochures, so you’ve got some idea of where you’ll spend your first holiday together. Dare to believe!
Love and Blessings
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