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I don’t know if any of you remember my blogs from previous articles but to fill you in I have been off the site for a while, suffering bad health. I had various symptoms of a painful neck, migraine, memory issues etc so it was difficult for me to spend too long on my computer. I had been feeling quite “ascended” and very spiritually connected for a while, with a lot of total bliss moments in my life. I had felt I was becoming a kind of “mystic out of the monastery” so I thought I was just experiencing some ascension symptoms to do with clearing old issues that were no longer needed. Little did I know it turned out to be a Meningioma, brain tumour.
If you are interested in the full story then I have put it below but the reason I feel the need to share this experience with you is the amazing synchronicity and blessings I have had from the total experience. I feel a new humility and humbleness to all my family friends and acquaintances who have shown such support and kindness and I feel sure this has lead to my speedy recovery from a 10 plus hour operation. For all of you out there going through your own traumas life is throwing at you at the moment, please have faith and ask always for help and support in your hour of need. I truly believe all this will pass once the world clearing has passed and we have all evolved together to lead a happier, symbiotic, relationship with each other and our wonderful planet.
Although my story is written partly for me to remember the details, I also feel this story will help other with their journey. I do believe that ABSOLUTELY this has been for the good. I also believe life on earth is like going to college or university. It is a wonderful, exciting, privileged experience but sometimes scary and frustrating too. It can cause times of stress and feeling that we can’t do it but actually … if we get through those moments the end result is wonderful and a real privilege when you get to the total bliss stage.
Anyway, for those of you who are interested, here is my story:
My symptoms were getting so bad that I went to the doctors and out of nowhere told him I thought I might have a brain tumour! I don’t know where I had this “inspiration” from but felt it was just about getting him to take notice of me for a change. To my surprise he took me seriously and wrote to the local Neurological department at Southend Hospital. As a result I was seen by the lovely Neuro registrar fairly quickly. She checked me out and couldn’t find anything wrong with my reflex reactions, so agreed for me to have an MRI, as I had said I had worries about a tumour, She said she though it was likely to be just menopause symptoms [I have just turned 50] but agreed to book it in to put my mind at rest.
A few weeks later I went along for the MRI but to be honest was not expecting them to find anything significant. How wrong I was! The very next day I had a phone call from the registrar calling me to say they had found something and could I see her later that day as I needed some medication. My lovely husband Chris who works in London, once I told him, was home within 2 hours. By this stage I couldn’t drive with confidence so he wanted to take me and obviously we were both fairly worried too.
We saw The Neuro Registrar that night at 5 pm when she broke the news I had a Meningioma brain tumour, it was 5 cm, which they class, as very large. She was very positive and said it was probably benign but I had to have it out soon as it was causing me problems and the pressure in my brain was not doing me any good, hence the odd symptoms I had by then. She had contacted a Dr who had been recommended, evidently a leading expert on Meningioma’s, and was based at Romford, Queens hospital, only about an hour away for us.
I heard from his secretary in a couple of days that I had an appointment the following Wednesday with the surgeon. From the start he filled us with confidence and made it sound a simple op, that he was very expert in and shouldn’t be any problem, he said I could have had the tumour for up to 20 years. Queens is a lovely new’ish hospital and the neurosurgeon made us feel very confident that all would be well, once it was removed. I wasn’t really given any option … it had to come out! I don’t think I ever really thought about it too much and just trusted his expertise that it would be ok.
I was admitted to hospital on 14th April and had an Angiogram that same day. The next day, exactly a month from the MRI, I underwent the operation (craniotomy) to remove the tumour. The surgery was meant to take 6 hours and ending up taking 10 and a half. You can imagine my families anxiety, they were beside themselves for the final 4 and a half hours! I was in intensive care for 3 days and when finally transferred to the ward I spent one restless night where I was trying to decide how I could get them to let me come home. There was talk that as I had had such a long op that I would be in another five days or so.
Amazingly my lovely surgeon came and asked me the next morning if I wanted to go home! I nearly jumped out of the bed with joy! My eyes had swelled up so much and completely shut for the best part of one day so really vision was really bad for 4 days or more. I had to put my faith totally in the staff in intensive care as I lost all sense of where things were, truly Angels … all of them.
I hope this conveys the amazing faith I have had though it all and how well I felt protected by spirit. I know some mystics and fellow spiritual believers would see this as a “Dark night of the soul”, but for me it has been a very valuable experience and one, which has taught me so much. Before I felt my life was over and that I had really done everything I needed to do. How wrong I was. What a gift this has been for me. The whole experience has shown incredible synchronicity and everything fell into place perfectly.
Through all this I have felt such bliss and trust, at the end of the day the most important outcome was that it was as the medics believed, benign.
Now, although I am suffering a few strange symptoms of tiredness and strange head pains, I feel it will all help me to empathise and understand others in this or similar situations.
I feel it has been a true blessing to move me on and stop me procrastinating. I now feel a strong desire to help others on their journey and want to run workshops and maybe counsel others who are struggling with being happy or fulfilling their life path. I really feel now an urge to do what my passion always was … to help others. I am feeling an amazing sense of bliss at the moment even though it’s been tough going.
For any of you who are struggling, I truly believe we are looked after. I know by this latest trial that every thing will go synchronistically if we listen to our own intuition, [gut feelings]. When I prayed through this experience I asked for just the right person be sent to help me and to have, themselves, just the right inspiration to do the job perfectly. I asked for my helpers to be there for me to give me strength when I needed it. I was so blessed with a wonderful surgeon and the top Neuro person at Southend too. As if that isn’t enough nearly all the worry was taken away from me and replaced with faith.
I truly believe this was a gift and I now have such an appetite for life. From the letters, cards, e-mails and prayers and even my mum’s friends saying Mass for me! How cherished and full of humility I feel. My husband Chris has been so wonderful and a perfect carer when I needed it. In the later stages, I went very strange and he totally took over and was amazing. He truly was a blessing sent to me when I had given up of ever finding Mr Right!
The healing from the op is now quite a trial for me, but I hope to make a full recovery. I will continue resting and trying to get my life back in order, they say it can take a year. I intend to enjoy our English Summer and continue to give my thanks for all the synchronicity and support I received. I have much more healing to do before I would be confident to fly anyway and will spend the time connecting to my self and helping with the whole body healing.
I wish you many blessings and grace, Terri x
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